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When Kate asked me to contribute to her blog on the topic of marriage, I had to say ‘yes.’ First, I cannot imagine ever telling Kate “no” to anything. Have you met Kate in person? Goodness, even if you only know her online – you know gentleness and graciousness ooze out of her. She’s even better in person than how amazing she seems on this blog. I’m also quite sure she is going to ask me to delete the whole top of this post because she would never want someone to brag on her. Too bad, Kate. I’m not deleting it. I love you girl. You inspire me. You challenge me. You make this world more beautiful. Your light shines brightly and I am honored to call you friend. Thank you for sharing this online space with me.
Chris and I have 5 kids – 3 boys all about to turn 6, 8, & 10. And two girls ages 2 & 4. We both work from home and I am homeschooling the kids. Our days are full and loud and good. I wouldn’t change a thing, well I wouldn’t mind less laundry. Chris and I are going on 13 years of marriage. We’ve grown up together, literally and figuratively. I hope we have decades upon decades to continue growing and changing together. I don’t feel like I have anything to ‘teach’ regarding marriage, our marriage is still so new, but I know I love being married. There are things that work for us and things we quickly learned don’t work for us. We are a classic opposites attract, yet with each year together we grow more and more alike.
We like each other. A lot. Of course, there are hard days. Days we speak unkind words. Days we don’t show each other grace. Days we need a little space. At the root of it though – we love each other and just really, really like each other. Early on our opposite ways caused frustration. I needed quiet, he likes crowds. I’d be happy to never leave the house, he was always wanting to be on the go. I want to build everything, he wants to buy it. Slowly, we have learned our differences are an asset. He teaches me how to love people and how to be friendly when I tend to be more introverted. He says I’ve taught him to go beyond the surface in his friendships and how to be more intentional with his time.
In these days of young kids, it can be easy to just make it through the days – to survive. I don’t want that. Chris doesn’t want it either. While we are growing and changing, we are seeing these days as an adventure. This phase in our marriage (the one with kids at home) – it will be over before we know it. The craziness of kids will be replaced with something new. There is no one else I want standing by my side when that new phase of life begins.
Live is an adventure. The greatest adventures usually don’t come easy. They often require work…a little blood, sweat and tears. Sometimes they require fighting for it. A great marriage is an adventure worth the fight. Today, I’ll try to speak words with more grace. I’ll try to encourage. I’ll try to express to him how much I love and respect him. I’ll try to make sure he knows that he has no greater fan than me. I’ll mess up too. So will he. And then tomorrow we’ll try again. And again. Because it is worth it.
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As a sidenote: In searching for pictures of just the two of us, I realized how VERY few pictures I have of us. That makes me sad. I take so many pictures every day. Lots of him with the kids. Lots of me with the kids. Lots of the kids. Sharing here today has challenged me to capture more images of the two of us. I want to remember us.
