“We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.”
This morning the world is reeling with opinions on depression and suicide. Words are flying onto the page and scrolling in front of us. Words of kindness, compassion, confusion, and even hate fill our mind.
Dear Church, please remember during this time what we believe. It doesn’t matter what our emotions are. It doesn’t matter what our own experience with depression is or is not. It matters what we believe.
We believe in a kind and compassionate God full of mercy and justice. That God knows that depression is a terrible and ugly thing that whispers lies and hopelessness. Our God knows that when that much despair finds its way into our life, we are very ill, in pain, and under much stress.
The church believes this:
What the Church teaches is that anyone who commits a mortal sin and does not repent before death goes to hell. Mortal sin requires three conditions: grave matter, full knowledge of the gravity of the action, and full and free consent to the action. If any of those three conditions are missing, there is not mortal sin. All we can say for certain is that suicide constitutes grave matter. Given the fact that people who take their own lives often are very ill or under psychological stress, those factors can impede their knowledge and consent, making their actions tragic but not mortally sinful. Only someone who freely chooses to commit suicide with full knowledge of the gravity of the sinfulness would commit mortal sin by his suicide. Even then, between unconsciousness and final death, God might offer the person one final chance to repent, even if such an opportunity is not apparent to us. {http://www.catholic.com/}
We are not the judge. We are not the final say. We have no idea what despair and hurt he was feeling.
Today, if you enter into a discussion with people about depression and suicide, be careful what you say.
Let it be truthful. Let it be kind. Let it be compassionate. Let it be necessary.
If it is not those things, then pray.
Be a light. Always.
When I was younger I had a close friend whose father had committed suicide when my friend was a child. Afterwards the people at her church had told her that her father was going to go to Hell. They didn’t say it to be cruel… they just said it matter-of-factly, like “I’m sorry, that is just the way it is.” My friend was traumatized by this, and stopped believing in God at all… because not believing in God was better than believing that God had sent her dad to Hell. I agree it is better not to suggest such a thing. Because we don’t know, and we won’t know until we die ourselves.
Dear Angel, I am so sorry to hear that.
Kate, thank you for this good word. “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Prov. 25:11. You offer a clear answer to the fear in our own hearts not only for a wonderful man, Robin Williams, but for our loved ones who died without our sure knowledge of their salvation.
Thank you, Sheila. Have a blessed week.
These words are so very true, and I posted something very similar this week. So many voices saying words on depression this week and so many of them negative and hurtful. We are called to be the light in these dark times and uplift those around us. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!