Dearest Cindy, it will be no surprise to you that I write out my thoughts to try to process this grief that is making me dizzy.

We met just four short years ago. I’ve looked up the timeline twice now because I was sure I’ve known you for so much longer than that.

You walked me through an adoption, two miracle pregnancies, and becoming a family seven.

You taught me the meaning of hospitality and whispered beautiful secrets of making other people feel loved.

You fed me five course meals as if I was a princess who deserved your lavish attention.

You showed me how you made the holidays special for your family – smells, music, and food.

You called me Amazing Kate. Amazing. I tried every day to live up to that. What you saw in me I may never understand, but oh how those words built a hedge around my heart.

You encouraged me in my writing and my photography as if I was the undiscovered artist waiting in the wings for greatness.

The first time I came to your home, you greeted me at the door. You walked me in as if I was the guest of honor and introduced me to everyone. You did this for each of us, teaching us your secrets of hospitality. We sat down for a meal together and you wouldn’t let us lift a finger. I sat in awe as I noticed the handmade place cards, candles, perfect table settings, and your gentleness. You served us and would not let us life a finger. You acknowledged this hard, unseen season we are in with little ones tugging at our sleeves. In the same moment you acknowledged our need for affirmation for our sacrifices, but reminded us to seek that affirmation in Christ alone.

Jesus says to the disciples, “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 6:1)

You reminded us to get off of our phones, to stop comparing, and to be the mother he chose for our children – not the one we see on Pinterest (unless you are that really amazing mom that can pull off a rainbow cake – then, we will all be coming over for a piece!)

You showed up at playdates to help hold little ones and push swings.

You sent us countless articles about edifying our husbands.

You sent us reminders to love him for how he shows us love and to stop expecting him to read our minds.

(Words of Affirmation written on post it notes)

You reminded us to be silly and to be kind.

You reminded us to lift our eyes up and give everything we do to His glory and His honor.

Oh Cindy, we weren’t done learning yet. We will miss you so much. Save me a seat and a Chocolate Pots de Creme, ok? Oh, and could I live next door to you? I’m sure the big guy won’t mind. I’ll do the dishes.

(Dinner in your home)

(MOPS Christmas party)

(MOPS favorite things party)