If you know me, you know that I struggle with miscarriage.

Twins in September of 2011.

One the Christmas Eve of 2010.

Two before that.

And again… again. July 21st, 2012 another sweet Brian and Katie baby decided that heaven was way cooler. They were right. But oh, how I wish I could have kissed their sweet toes.

I didn’t tell anyone at first (except mom of course).

Then, I only told a few people.

Then, it felt like I missed some unwritten window to be honest with everyone around me.

So, here it is, my honesty in front of you.

It hurts and I am sad.

But this time, there is hope that came more quickly. Maybe it is because I have been here before. Maybe it is because school has begun and the world swirls around me so quickly.

Maybe it is because beautiful friendships have sprung up around me and supported me during this time without even fully knowing what was going on inside me.

I am Still Here.

Apparently, I look like I am expecting – (that is always fun, right?). My poor, sweet neighbor asked me when I was due. Blerg.

So, if you see me – nope, I’m not.

If you know me – I don’t feel like talking about it. I’m ok – really.

If you struggle with it – I would love to help. Ask me anything. Write me anything. I’ll be here for you.

Hugs and Love,

Momma of eight (how do you answer that question? I’d love to know),

Kate