On the day Julia was born, I went to work at Universal Computer Systems. My clients were located in California, but that day I had traded my shift for the East Coast. My team was throwing me a baby shower that evening and I didn’t want them to have to wait until 6 pm to begin. I was still six weeks from my due date and I blamed not feeling well on getting up earlier than usual. I wandered into the office at 5:45 am. Around 6:30 am my water broke. Thank goodness two mothers were working in my area and reassured me about what was happening. I packed up my things and headed to the hospital, absolutely shocked that I was going into labor. As I walked out of the office, a girl from HR stopped me. She was updating pictures for our badges. I explained that my water had broken and I was in labor. She looked at me and said, “don’t worry hun, it will only take a second.” To this day, I have that badge in my Hope Chest. In the picture, you can see how shocked I was that she didn’t let me through and how incredibly swollen I was. And no, no I will not be posting that picture.

I called home over and over to try to wake Brian up. He had just pulled two all-nighters for his last semester of college finals. I kept talking into the answering machine just hoping I could get him to wake up. I did not want to go to the hospital alone. We only lived a few blocks from the hospital, so I decided to stop at home. I called my father to tell him I was in labor. I said, “do you want to be a grandpa today?”. These are the words Brian woke up to.

Fast forward a few hours, and I wanted my mama. Mom and Dad only lived 1 1/2 hours away and I couldn’t believe they hadn’t arrived yet.

I called my Aunt Margaret to ask if she knew where they were and she told me that my father thought it was false labor since I was so early, so he hadn’t told my mom. Mom was a 7th-grade teacher at the time, so getting her a phone message wasn’t always easy. She promised me that she would get on the case right away.

At 6:17 pm that evening, Julia was born.

Mom and dad had made it to the hospital, but they had already locked the door. The stood on the outside and listened to my cry and laugh as Julia came into this world. I can remember that moment so clearly. The shock and joy and surrealness of the moment became poetry that I breathed in deeply. The love that overwhelmed me as I held her in my arms fine-tuned my heart to hearing only her needs.

Fast forward 18 years, and I was the one hoping the door wasn’t already locked.

Last week, Julia beautifully defended her thesis. As I drove to the school, I held my breath hoping that I’d make it before they locked the door.

I quietly found a place in the front row and held my breath as she was challenged on every point. She was so elegant. Her confidence in the truth that she knows in her heart shined through the entire defense.

And now, I will take my place as I let her go into this world as an adult, on the other side of the door.