My dearest Riley, your story continues to piece together into this beautiful quilt and I want to write it all down for you, so that someday, you will know in black and white how very, very loved you have been from the beginning. 

This past Easter, your birth mother’s best friend reached out to me. She had been following your journey as part of our family and wanted us to know how happy she was. She had a little more of your story and pictures from the day you were born. She asked if she could share them with me. We met at a nearby McDonald’s. She and her husband brought their daughter, Aubrey. As soon as you saw her, you recognized her. You played with her and cared for her like she was a sister.

We know without a doubt that knowing more of your story is so healing and healthy. But, at the same time, that moment you draw the circle wider can be frightening. Anytime you dip your toe into the unknown, I think it is natural to wonder and hope for a positive outcome. We prayed that the meeting would be full of joy. It went so well, we invited their family over for Easter dinner.

Courtney Ann, your birth mother’s best friend, brought a photo album. There are pictures of the day you were born, your first walk around the neighborhood, and your first camping trip. Courtney Ann cared for you so dearly. She loved you like her own son and was so very happy to see you again. When you were little, you called her Nee-Nee. She asked if it was okay to call her that again. She was so respectful of what was best for you, as part of our family.

We treasure that book. You ask to look at it all the time and we giggle about what a cutie you are.

Courtney Ann and her husband, Colton, with you on your first day home from the hospital.

But as the beautiful orange and purple colors set in the west in this valley every day, Courtney Ann left this world a friend of Christ last month.

She was so young. She was so loved. She was so full of joy. The church was full of faces ready to share how she brought joy into everyone’s world. At her funeral, the pastor shared that she loved Jesus with all of her heart. She wanted everyone to know that.

Before time slips away from me and too many details fade into sweet sighs of remembrance, I want you to know that she loved you so much. Whenever I would post about you, she would message me on Facebook and thank me for the updates. She told me that she would pick up her phone in the morning and check the blog just to see how you were doing. To be loved that dearly is a treasure, and you, Riley, are so very loved.

Dearest Courtney, thank you for loving my son before I knew him. You are so missed. We will see you again, dear friend. 

Eternal rest grant unto Courtney, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May she rest in peace. Amen.