This is day 50 of social isolation for us.

The number doesn’t sound as high as it felt when I was counting the days on the calendar.

The past few days I’ve been searching for joy. I thought I was looking really hard. I thought I was searching every under every stone to find it.

I was wrong. I was looking inside myself.

The Lord was patiently waiting for me to look up and return my gaze to Him.

I was exercising more, making lists, reading all the news, and participating in righteous debates. A migraine settled in to stay and I was miserable in my search.

But today, He grabbed me and held me tight. As I became more and more hunched over, looking at my screen, He poured messages into my email that whispered the word He had given me so many months ago.

Joy.

My dear friend, Ruth, announced the release of her new book today named “Fields of Joy.” I cried tears of happiness thinking about wandering Last Chance with her and watching her pick out the perfect pair of overalls. I smiled as I thought about amazing breakfasts she put together from whatever was in the fridge at Heather’s home.

My heart felt joy.

Then, Blessed is She emailed their daily message. I opened the email and the graphic, “See the Joy that Comes from Jesus”. The email told stories of the saints and reminded me of their “yes” to Him. The told of the stoning of Stephen and how he looked up and saw Jesus.

And that was it. I was reminded so sweetly and tenderly to look up. Only there will I find His perfect peace. Only there will I find the joy that I seek, as I rest giving my gaze to the things of heaven and not of this earth.

The past few years, I’ve been invited to speak about choosing a word of the year. I always tease about how you will start to trip over the word. It will find you when you most need it. And it will find you in the moments you don’t want to be found. Today, I needed to see my word.

I will rest in the purpose He has set before me. I will love my children and shepherd their hearts to love Him. I will love my husband and encourage him with my words and my smiles. I will love my neighbor and allow them to love and care for me.

Joy.