Bonding and Attachment… I think I had heard of these terms before meeting Riley, but they are now (slowly) taking on an entire new meaning.

First of all, I thought they were interchangeable. Now I know that they are a little different. Bonding refers to a parent’s feelings toward their children. Attachment refers to the child’s feelings. Since it all happened so quickly, I still feel like I am behind the learning curve. (I also feel like I am making excuses).

Here’s the deal. Riley didn’t have any brothers or sisters, so it is easy for him to let Julia and Nate in. Brian is the first daddy he knows, so a space is being filled that is so beautiful to watch. Riley did have a primary caregiver – his grandma. She is a sweet and selfless angel. She cared for Riley in a very difficult situation. So now, I wait. My restless heart waits for him to attach to me.

It makes me wonder, if in a small way, it is how God waits for us. We attach to things of this world. We attach to other people. While we seek out anything to fill our need, He waits so patiently for us. I pray that I will wait peacefully through the transition. On hard days, I remind myself that Riley is innocent in all of this. My dear friend, Heather, encouraged me to look back at the end of each month and look at the progress we have made. That is helping so much. Brian and I talk about where we were and how far things have come :

• sleeping through the night
• sleeping in his bed
• sleeping without one of us
• calling me Katie less and less, and saying mommy more and more

If you are walking through something, can I encourage you? Make a list or start a journal. Write down the little things and watch God add it all up!