Oh sweet Sebastian.

You turned one month yesterday. Time is such a mysterious fellow. I’m exhausted, but yet I blink and it’s been a month.

I’ve been perplexed at your arrival. I’m not supposed to be able to have children biologically anymore. According to doctors, I’m unable to carry a child. Yet, here you are, my second true miracle.

When Mary Alice was born, the entire community rejoiced and celebrated. I shouted from rooftops of God’s glory. I made a video. I told everyone in the grocery store.

Now, two years later, you’ve arrived. Oh my sweet boy, it’s been a little quieter. I haven’t been as loud and I haven’t shared as much. I was talking with my mom, your grandmother, and she said something beautiful. “Katie Ann, some miracles are for the entire community and some are just for us.”

(Moms say the most wonderful things, don’t they?)

I sat in wonder about the woman who touched His robe after bleeding for 12 years who was healed (Luke 8). Did she spend the first few weeks telling all of her friends and family? If she was alive today, would she have made a YouTube video or an InstaStory? A year later, was she still telling everyone she knew of His glory? Two years later, would she be worried that people were tired of hearing from her?

So my sweet love, I say it now, with certainty in my heart. You are a miracle. You don’t make sense to the medical community and you don’t make sense to people who would rather claim doctors were wrong instead of proclaiming His handiwork. But I will say it. “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,  who has looked with favor on me, a lowly servant.” (Luke 1)

You are a quiet, beautiful treasure.

Sebastian Carl Louis, your name was chosen to always remind you that you are a miracle.

Sebastian Rupf was your great-great grandfather. Sebastian was Nate’s confirmation saint. That is first time I read about St. Sebastian and grew to love his story of martyrdom. He is the patron saint of soldiers. My prayer for you is that always fight for the truth of our faith.

Carl is your father’s father’s name. He is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. When Nate was young, we were moving to Denton, Texas. We had a very busy weekend and needed to clean our apartment completely to get the deposit back. After Mass, we showed up to our apartment and it was spotless. He had finished loading his suburban with our things and cleaned our apartment completely. This gift is just one small example of the many kind things he has done for us over the years. He always does these things quietly and without fanfare, using his hands to love and give.

Louis. There are three very special parts to this name.

• Father Louis Merosne is the priest that had a word of knowledge, with more than 2,000 people present, that “someone was struggling with infertility and the knots would be untied.” That someone turned out to be me.
• Your great-grandmother, the one Mary Alice is named after, has a second middle name – Louise. She is my prayer warrior. She talks with God in the middle of the night and takes all of our prayers to Him. I owe so much of his goodness to her intercession for me.
• And St. Louis de Montfort. When I was pregnant with you, I consecrated myself to Our Mother. Everything I read about devotion to Her, brought me to stories of his life and his devotion to our blessed mother. I pray that this devotion stirs deep inside your soul and that you carry her with you all of your life.

Dearest Sebastian, yours may be a miracle, quiet and without fanfare, but my heart bursts with love for you.