Miscarriage

So, I had my followup on Thursday. I learned so much... I don't even know where to begin. (I am still looking up all the words from my blood work on google... ha} Basically, it means that Sweet Baby J and Nate the Great are miracles, especially knowing that I carried...

Staunch unsightly walls encompass me. I only want to sleep. My words fail to be kind or meaningful or coherent. Shadows are everywhere. They hide the light from my wanting heart. I am crying out to be found. I lament and whisper praise out of a heart that wants to be...

You both snuck downstairs tonight. Nate, you are sleeping on my legs, like you did when you were two and so very tired. Julia, you are sleeping on the red couch behind me. Your excuse is that you are excited to travel to Texas next week for Aunt Laura's wedding and...

              It is just what the doctor ordered... I am feeling better physically but today was sad... Thank you so much for your comments and emails. They really do warm my soul. God has sent me such precious friends and readers to...

Thursday afternoon I was rushed to the ER. My D&C was scheduled for Friday morning, but they went forward with it Thursday evening ~ after all sorts of fun exploratory exams. At some point I cried to Brian that I wanted my mommy. It's true. I was a complete mess...

Tina, a dear friend from childhood {2nd grade to be exact}, wrote about True Trust on her blog today. My heart is rejoicing at this post. I went to the doctor yesterday. I stared at the black hole on the screen, wishing more than anything that there was a baby there....

  Thank you. Your kindness over the last few days has warmed my heart, made me laugh and brought me to tears.     Last time I went through this, I didn't really say much. This time, I have let people know what is going on. It feels selfish some days -...

For my sweet unborn child who was ushered into heaven tonight. I learned I was pregnant with you right after we returned from a wonderful weekend at a lake in the Arizona high country. Your dad purchased a pregnancy test at the local Safeway and we went to eat Chinese...