I glanced over and noticed the water pitcher on the table. Ripples were calmly lapping against the sides.

It was day 2 of homeschool (ever) for my youngest two. Math was not going well. Mrs. Russell, my fourth-grade teacher, taught me to multiply, then add. It made sense to me. I had used this process for over 40 years, but I was willing to jump in and learn something new. I was sure my kids would feel solidarity and pride, teaching their mom something together. Mary and Sebastian had learned the base-ten method, which was incomprehensible to me, so I asked them to show me their process. I looked over and asked Sebastian how Mrs. Bland had taught him. Suddenly, every emotion about missing their teachers and friends was spilling out of their hearts.

My mind wandered back to the Lent study I had listened to earlier this year, about “The Brothers Karamazov” and the parable of The Prodigal Son. One of the most powerful illustrations I heard was the ripples small actions have on children. A passing scowl, a hurtful comment, or an exasperated sigh can set forth an unseen domino effect. It would be easier not to admit this is true – or to justify actions as minor blips as insignificant as a water pitcher sitting on a kitchen table.

But. I’m the adult. I can practice self-control if I choose to. I can push myself away from the table and forget math for a day. I can look into the eyes of my children and reassure them that they will have friends and I will teach them well.

In that very hard (and loud) moment, I can choose to see them, take a deep breath, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide my next move.

May the ripples of our actions send forth waves of love.