Staunch unsightly walls encompass me.

I only want to sleep.

My words fail to be kind or meaningful or coherent.

Shadows are everywhere.

They hide the light from my wanting heart.

I am crying out to be found.

I lament and whisper praise out of a heart that wants to be gently obedient.

Find me, dear Father.

Please find me.

Sweetness fluttering around me.

Letters in the mail.

Words from friends.

Smiles and waves.

Hugs.

Gentle squeezes of my hand by my dearest.

My heart overflows.

And I am slowly emerging still a mother. Still in love with my family.