Choosing my word of the year this year proved harder than in years past. Do your words come easily? Do you know before the calendar even turns to January? I don’t. I’m usually well into the first month before I truly have peace about letting Him choose my word of the year, instead of pretending that my word is where He and I should explore together.

I laugh and remind myself that I am an oldest. I am an older sister of a brother who was very accommodating of what games we should play, what songs we should sing, what TV show we should watch after school, and who sat shotgun first. This may have been great from my point of view (sorry, Johnny) but not the best recipe for getting to know someone and making room for where you need to grow.

I usually spend a few days in silence, wondering why He hasn’t shown me my word.

Then, slowly, a word begins to come up over and over – in scripture, in homilies, in podcasts, and in my husband’s words to me.

I’m not even kidding when I tell you that this is the song that just came on as I write this post:

You Hold it All
The Porter’s Gate: Contemporary

God, we bring you the work of our hands now
Lay it down, lay it at Your feet
What we’ve done, where we’ve been, what we’ve broken
Lay it down, lay it at Your feet

You hold it all
Jesus You hold it all

Worried hearts, wearied hands, weakened body
Lay them down, lay it at Your feet
What we used, what we lost, what we wasted
Lay it down, lay it at Your feet

You hold it all
Jesus, You hold it all
You hold it all
Jesus, You hold it all

All our plans, all our dreams, our ambition
Lay them down, lay them at Your feet
Even if nothing comes to fruition
Lay them down, lay it at Your feet
Lay it down, lay it at Your feet

Surrender.

Surrender is my word this year.

The rough draft of the book about Saint Dyphna is finished and I’ve sent it off to a dear friend to read. I immediately felt small and childish when I hit send and He sweetly reminded me to surrender.

If I am doing this for His glory – not mine,

If I am doing this according to His will – not mine,

If I am not seeking personal gain but to give Him glory, then it will be easy to surrender.

Lord, I surrender it all to you – today, tomorrow, and yesterday.